Just for fun, in this installment I replaced sharks and misogyny with super models and libido boosting sex gum. Let's see if the chuckles get any louder.
Israel blamed for the economic crisis.
Jews are everywhere. They control the media, the banks and the vending machines. And if Jews are in control of our snacks, the world will definitely go to hell. The definition of 'hell', in this case, would be standing in line at the bank with an old issue of Time magazine and no Snickers. Damn those Jews!
But seriously folks, if you can blame the financial crisis on Israel just because a few Jews own banks, shouldn't you also credit Israel with ending World War 2? Einstein was, after all, a penny chaser.
In this case they claim Egypt is selling more natural gas to Israel than it has for itself. Hence the blackouts and the blame. Isn't that a little like a drug dealer blaming his clients for not leaving him enough for self use? It would probably make more sense to blame the supplier for not making enough of the drug to begin with. In Egypt's case, the supplier is the ground. Good luck.
Yeah yeah, I know I had one similar to this in our first installment, but in this case there is a scientific study involved. Well, when I say scientific I actually mean some guy rambling on paper, and when I say study I mean it's written with finger paints.
The premise of this scientific fridge decoration is that exposure to political violence will lead to intimate partner violence, also known as wife beating. Wasn't Lorena Bobbit a Palestinian woman?
Oh no! We lost the seat at the UN security council! Now absolutely nothing might happen!
Yup folks, no one cares. Not Iran, not Darfur and definitely not the UN. It's true you might miss out on some uncompromising talk, but don't fear. There will be plenty of inaction and indecision in the next term. And who knows, maybe next time they'll let you speak into a microphone.
Israel blamed for Pepsi, Revlon, Intel, McDonalds, Coca-Cola, Sara Lee, Marks & Spencer, Nestle, Marlboro, Disney and more.
This one is going to blow your mind. Did you know Pepsi stands for: Pay Each Penni Save Israel? or that if you flip the Coca Cola logo upside down, erase it and then write something else instead, it reads: smoked salmon rocks? It's true! and I know it's true because I read it on a website.
But really, Disney? You included the company which gave the elephants in Tarzan Jewish accents but not a company called Warner Brothers? How about the Weinstein company? Its like being asked to point out a Jew at a bar mitzva and picking the waiter.
The Muslim nation is so weak, Saudi Arabian teenagers need the help of camels to hump. To be honest, Israel did beat a few Muslim nations in a few wars. But that was over three decades ago. There are over fifty Muslim nations in the world, all of which vote together in the UN against Israel. And yet I still get the feeling that if we push hard enough with the security council we can give them an international wet Willey. Food for thought.
Where is this sex gum and why aren't we selling the stuff. Other than in Hollywood. It makes tons of sense when you think about it. How is someone supposed to fight back when he's busy fornicating. And when sex is practically illegal, the frustration alone would be enough for the entire region to democratize. Well, it would be either democracy or large amounts of rape. And Israel would be blamed for both.
Every time someone blames Israel for something ridiculous, an angel cracks up laughing. This is nothing but fun to write. And there is much more to write about. Stay tuned.
No comments:
Post a Comment