And here we are again with a second instalment of the ridiculous. Blaming everything on Israel may not be fair, but it is entertaining. And who doesn't like to be entertained?
Here is the second batch:
What isn't clear? If Josef and Mary were alive today, Israel would be harassing them in the West Bank. Though, when one comes to think of it, Josef and Mary were Jewish settlers in a land controlled by the Romans. And the settlers tend to be the ones harassing. Food for thought. http://www.mererhetoric.com/2005/12/26/jews-now-being-blamed-by-media-for-harassing-nonexistent-modern-day-joseph-and-mary/
This one comes from a well known Iranian comedian by the name of Ahmadinejad. And though he may be slightly crazy and dishonest, he is still the leader of a near nuclear Islamic country and so should be treated with respect. All in all, Ahmadinejad's arguments are the same as they usually are. Israel and the United States are responsible for everything bad that has ever happened. Oh, and that there was no holocaust. At least that one's off our conscience.
The Israeli Lobby in the United States is so powerful it moves the world's only super power at its whim. Sounds nice. Let's forget for a moment that everyone who regurgitates this theory forgets the immense influence of the Saudi lobby, an influence which almost always opposes Israeli interests. Even if the Israeli lobby were really that powerful, couldn't we at least credit them with all the good things as well? Yes, the U.S. is involved with a war or two, but they are also a driving force of democracy and humanitarian aid around the world. Though I guess for some people that would be considered a bad thing as well.
OK, this one may have a scoop of truth to it. I accept the fact that it is entirely plausible, considering Palestinian dependence on Israeli goods, that an ice cream shortage in this five star hotel in Ramallah may have been Israel's fault. But why don't we look at the bright side? Ramallah has a five star hotel. That's not the sort of thing you would expect in a region full of war crimes, oppression and starving children. In my opinion you get to complain about only one of those. You can't be both starving and upset that your big mac has too many pickles on it. and if it's the pickles you're complaining about - Israel must be doing something right. Though I think they can afford to allow them vanilla. Everyone likes vanilla.
We know what really happened. It had to have been Israel. The evidence is undeniable. If the Jews didn't do it, how do you explain the fact that no bagels with smoked salmon were lost during the attacks?
So here's the plan, said one Mossad agent to another, we get a shark and send him to eat Egyptian tourists on the beach. They'll never guess it was us!
So yes, a shark attacked a beach in Egypt and they blamed it on Israel. When you come to think about it that isn't so far fetched. Everyone knows Israel has a secret underwater imp squad working in it's military. All they really had to do to pull it off is to fit them with tiny saddles.
If the Jews and Israel are in control of world media, and the world's media are against Israel, the Jews and Israel must be behind the whole thing!
It's true! And we would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling conspiracy theorists. If I was puppeteering everyone that hates me I would need a lot of strings.
These get more and more fun to write every day. Stay tuned for the another instalment.
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