Chosen Ones

Chapter one

exposition

Meet Joseph.

Joseph was once a traveling salesman. He was 45 years old and content with his life. Every year he would travel the same route to sell Teflon coated tools and nails in bulk. There’s no reason to go into his exact route. To be honest, it wasn’t really important to specify what he sold, as all that is now in the distant past. Suffice it to say he was good at his job, mainly because he had a pleasant demeanor and a winning smile.

Some, however, would say Joseph was not an especially moral man. In every city to which Joe traveled he started a family. He had a grand total of four wives, all of whom loved him immensely. How could they not? Joe was, after all, a very nice man.

Two things could be said to be wrong with our traveling salesman, besides his questionable moral character.

The first has its roots in ancient times. It seems, apparently, much of all that biblical mumbo-jumbo was true. Stories of gods, miracles and messiahs are, for the most part, less imagined than many of us might have thought.

How is this relevant to our friend Joe, you ask? Well it is rather simple. Before leaving us to fend for ourselves a couple of millennia ago, our chosen deity left a small genetic marker imbedded deep inside our DNA. This marker was intended to eventually bring forth the new great prophet of our day. The messiah in all his or her glory. Joseph was the last link in this chain, and so his son would be our great savior.

That brings us to the second thing wrong with Joe. This was also a genetic defect and it was placed in his scrotum. The powers that be felt it prudent to leave this defect to ensure the coming of only one chosen savior. A small connection deep inside Joe’s testicles was to snap off after his first child. And it did.

However, Joseph then did something the Gods had not anticipated. Joseph went to the doctor and had it fixed.

Four families would breed thirteen children. Each child would attract the type of attention that would make rock-stars blush. And why not? How could a guitar solo compare with the power to heal or turn water into wine? However, this is all in our future.

First, let’s talk about Joe…