If we would use the elderly to power our cars it would still be considered a fossil fuel.

Colorful personalities don't really exist. They are a pigment of our imagination.

I'm as forward thinking as a snail on its way to a French restaurant.

If Love had more screws, maybe the Swedish would be better at making it.

Too much change in your pocket makes no cents.

When the Devile goes to an auction, does he do his own bidding?

I'f yours is the one true god, salvation is only a stones throw away.

I'm a riddle wrapped in enigma dipped in Sudoku fondue with a New York Times cross word topping.

I can't be nocturnal if I'm awake all day as well.

I think its time to come to that life changing realization that I will probably never have an epiphany.

Reunions are a good way of reopening those healed scars and replenishing one reasons to drink.

Sure, you can treat me like a piece of meat. I go best with a red wine marinade and a little pepper.

To study or to drink? that is the question. Whether tis' nobler in the mind to suffer the exams and papers of outrageous fortune, or to take alcohol against a sea of troubles, and by drinking end them.

Sometimes I feel as though life is trying to screw me. Other times I think it just wants to cuddle.

I wanted to go wherever the wind would take me, but it kept taking me east.

I have three ventilators in my house. is that a fan club?

The problem with being so sweet is that I attract flies.

Its not the size of the euphemism it's how you use it.

Peoples dishonesty is usually directly proportional to the amount of time they spend speaking.

Most people are as good natured as they are honest.