The plight of an African ruler

Dear United Nations,

I am the ruler of an African state.

For the past decade I have been relentlessly trying to get the attention of the United Nations Human Rights Council (UNHRC), but they have yet to return my calls. Though my country’s population has been dropping rapidly as a result of an uncontrollable AIDS epidemic, I have been doing my best to add to this by ruthlessly murdering as many women and children as I can. These are of course of a different ethnic group than myself. Sadly, it seems all of the attention of your Human Rights Council has been aimed at Israel. After waiting for a decade for the council to move on to the next human rights catastrophe on the agenda I feel this may never happen.

What do I have to do in order to be put on the council’s agenda? At first I feared the council may skip my country to address any of the other extreme violations of human rights such as: Darfur, Sierra Leone, China in Tibet, Russia in Chechnya, or any of the many cases of starvation all around Africa. However, it seems there is no way for any of us to receive any attention.

What does Israel have that the rest of us do not? It seems to be a properly democratic country with a large voting minority. Why ignore the rest of us who do not allow our minorities this pleasure? Our women cannot vote or choose their husband and we still practice female circumcision, but we are yet to be on the council’s agenda. Do I really have to convert my people to Judaism in order to get this sort of attention? Even their blockades are pitiful. What is the use of a blockade if you keep sending in thousands of tons of food aid? How are the people supposed to starve that way? Why not take an example from the Russians who ruthlessly bombard Chechnya without calling in advance to warn civilians to leave the area as Israel does? In Africa we have learned to dispense with the need for a blockade and allow our people to starve directly. And yet none of us are targeted for violations of human rights.

I believe the problem may be in the composition of the council. How can we expect Egypt, Angola, Bahrain, Jordan, Kyrgyzstan, Pakistan, Qatar and Saudi Arabia to concentrate on anything else but Israel ? I think a good solution for this would be to have at least a majority of democratic countries to allow a more balanced view of world atrocities. Though I am aware the Arab world itself spends a lot of time violating human rights within their own countries, I wish to request the council take the time to look at the African continent as its next source of inspiration. We are, after all, a humanitarian catastrophe.

Please break the Israeli monopoly over the attention of the human rights council. No serious council could really believe Israel is a serious human rights violator, if it looked at the facts. It seems there is an unfair bias toward that country and we request it be removed.

Yours,

A ruler of an African country.