New Poll Shows 'Screw You!' in the Lead for 2012 Election

'Screw You!' is now the new favorite to win in the coming 2012 presidential elections, according to recent polls. A telephone poll asked: "If the elections were to be held today, who would you choose to vote for president?" Screw was cited as the leading candidate with 42% of the votes, followed by 'Fuck off!' with 26% and 'Stop calling me!' with 17%. The rest were unresponsive.

The respondents were, in fact so enthusiastic in their reactions, they tended to yell the answer at the caller, a pollster remarked. Often before the question was even finished being asked.

It seems 'Screw you!' is a strong candidate in the congressional race as well, beating out opposition in almost every state other than New York and Illinois where 'Fuck off!' still has the lead.

Studies Show Suicide Effective against Alzheimer

New studies show smoking to be somewhat effective as a preventative measure against Alzheimer disease. Great! Finally a rock solid study to show those annoying New York health freaks, who will feel really stupid one day as they lay in their beds dying of nothing. This study simply proves what we all knew all along: heavy smokers are far less likely to ever reach a point where they need to worry about such a disease as Alzheimer.

It is at this point that I would like to suggest a couple of other options for further research:

Suicide, I believe, could eliminate Alzheiner's all together. And if you happen to be pro-life, murder should be just as effective. A timely murder or suicide would prevent disease and dramatically lower ones health care costs. Who knows? on a large enough scale this solution might even hail the end of global warming - if you believe in such things.

I do Recall a Song that Spoke

I do recall a song that spoke

of hair such as yours in a flowing cascade.

In a rhyme it demands then your eyes to evoke.

I cannot recall if they’re blue or they’re jade.

for whoever will have you envy was made.

In the evening the cold then an image paints

your body so wrapped in the arms of a blanket.

I could never conform to a brothers restraints.

nor a monk who still prays to the image of saints

as he dreams of a sanctity seen from afar

for a woman you are

You, are only, glad, when you’re quiet and lonely.

And to listen to songs of the far of the near,

so I fear,

when I stare at you quietly sitting alone I may find

that everything else escapes from my mind.

Residing, my sole, in your delicate mind.

And so trapped then from me it is later departing.

As my body and I just leave it behind.

In my dreams I am spread as a rug to your feet.

Just to have you please tread on a radiant heat.

So on evening recall in a blanket to wrap

Soon you’ll find our eyes will meet.

I do recall a song that spoke

such words only whispered when two are alone.

And till dawn it demands your ears to invoke,

it awoke.

I do recall a song that spoke.

Millions of People Can’t be Wrong

When confronted with the issue of the existence of God, many people call upon the masses for support. “So many people can’t be so wrong about so much”, they say. becoming a non-believer would be like calling ones ancestors and millions of his fellow believers stupid. They can’t all be wrong, can they?

In some cases it could be considered a great rule of thumb to check ones self against a crowd. We do so every day, as we weigh our actions against what our friends find acceptable. Whenever we contemplate our individual morality, the social circle can be a great measure. It is not illegal to be impolite to a co-worker, but we try not to be. We do so because it is not socially acceptable. And that’s fine.

In other cases, however, the majorities opinion is less valuable. Whenever an issue involves expert knowledge, the opinion of those without such knowledge would be a waste of time. We should definitely not hold a vote on whether or not ethylene glycol should be added to our food. The vast majority of people have no idea what ethylene glycol is and so would be useless in the decision (it’s antifreeze by the way).

This line of reasoning is true in the religious debate as well. when it comes to the moral issues, advanced societies tend to pick and choose the parts of their religion which is agreeable within that society. And so, to a large degree, most cultures morality is exceedingly similar. Customs may differ, but the basic morality of different cultures is often the same.

When it comes to the origin of the universe and the evolution of life, however, common wisdom suddenly diverges. Suddenly the numbers are against the religious. No matter what religion one subscribes to, most of the people of the world think he is fundamentally wrong. When the questions are not ones of morality and human action but cosmology, biology and geology, the religions become heavily divided. Can we really invoke common wisdom to defend issues that are beyond common knowledge?

What about our ancestors? Were they all wrong?

We know they were wrong about some things. Today we know the world is not flat. That it rotates around the sun. That germs exist. We can also point to moral divergences over the years. Today we consider our ancestors wrong on moral issues such as slave owning, or the rights of woman in society. Most of us think they were morally wrong in their treatment of Africans or homosexuals.

Is it really so hard to believe they were wrong about God as well?

Personal Miracles

In my experience, people often invoke miracles as evidence toward the existence of God. A miracle is an event within the physical world. It is for that reason that I am quite fond of them. Physical events can usually be tested.
In this chapter, however, we will deal only with the case of personal miracles. Those are the kind of miracles which most commonly remain within the realm of a single individual. Most often pertaining to miraculous healing or divine intervention in such cases as accidents or war. We will not, in this chapter, discuss other claimed miracles such as the parting of specific seas or the miracle of child birth. Those will be discussed in the future I hope.

As far as miraculous healing is concerned, the test is fairly simple. It is a well known medical fact that, sometimes, sick people heal. Cancers sometimes go into remission. Every once in a while infections subside. However such cases are rare enough for doctors not to consider them a viable treatment option. Later, we hear the stories of people who were told they have a month to live and then survived another twenty years. It’s a miracle.

But not every type of sick person heals. If it were God who is healing the sick, we would assume he does so by his own plan or morality. We would not expect him to do so based on an individual illness. God is almighty. He can heal anything. Right?
If this is the case, then why does God only heal people who suffer from ambiguous disease's? Disease’s which could have healed on their own anyway. And yet God never heals amputees. Surely there are amputees from all strata of the moral realm. Surely not all such people are evil and undeserving of a miracle. And yet this never happens. Never. Not rarely. NEVER!
Which leads me to the conclusion that God either hates amputees or people intemperate the good things that happen to them in the way their parents told them to. Religiously.

What about the other form of personal miracles? People survive accidents and war every day. Many of these are considered miracles. “I should have died in that car accident, but God intervened and saved me.”
These sorts of miracles are the same religious interpretations as the ones mentioned earlier. These, of course, harder to make fun of without the ready example of amputees.
But why don’t we just call this sort of interpretation by its real name: Narcissism.

“I was supposed to die in that car accident, but the almighty God, creator of the heavens and the earth, intervened in order to save me. I must be such an integral part of his grand cosmic plan that he suspended all of the laws of causality and physics for me to keep living. I am that important. Now I know I should run for president.”

Or maybe you just got lucky.

http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/

Pascal’s Wager

The French philosopher Blaise Pascal once posed the following line of reasoning: Even if the existence of God cannot be determined through reason and evidence, a rational person would wager as if God does exist because if there is no God, one loses nothing and if there is, one wins eternal life in his favor.

This argument does well to sniff out those who should stay out of the gambling den.
Pascal begins by making an assumption about the evidence for the existence of God. Though I do not entirely accept this assumption, I will accept it to argue the following point.

Pascals wager, like every wager, is based on probability. And sadly, we must ask this unanswerable question in order to establish an answer: Given there is no evidence for or against God, what is the probability of his existence? An exact answer, of course, cannot be given.

We can, however, exclude a few common answers. The probability is surely not fifty fifty, for example. If someone makes a claim for which there is no evidence, the odds of it being correct do not suddenly become fifty fifty. If that were the case, we would have to accept every whim of the human imagination as credible. In fact, considering the prevalence of Jerusalem syndrome among schizophrenics, there should be thousands of Messiahs locked away in asylums everywhere.
The lack of evidence may make it impossible to calculate odds, but it does usually make them automatically small. The grander the unsubstantiated claim, the smaller the likelihood of its correctness. So the odds are not known but they are small. One might say: incalculably small.

However small the odds are for the existence of God, we must now make them even smaller. Pascal’s wager was designed to allow him into the afterlife. Which means that not only must he be right about the existence of God, he must also pick the right God to worship. Wouldn’t he feel sheepish if, after choosing the Christian God, Pascal would find himself in a bad suburb of Hades?

Despite the incalculably small odds of picking the right God to worship, and his existing in the first place, the wager would still be perfectly rational if it would bare no cost. This seems to be the central assumption Pascal makes. say, for example, entry into heaven would entail only a declaration that one believes in God and nothing else. But there is a cost to believing in God. Every God expects one to perform a set of real world actions in order to win eternal life. The Christian God doubly so. To say nothing of forgoing ones healthy scepticism.

Finally, I have to ask: Would an all powerful judging God not see through this simple ruse? At the point of judgment would he not notice that the man standing before him decided to bypass faith and morality simply to reap eternal reward? Wouldn’t that make him a little angry? I think it might.
Let’s just hope he is more forgiving than the casino’s.

The basics of religious debate

Every time one is forced to defend his belief in a debate the arguments will be one of two simple types: The defender will either try and prove the correctness of his own claims or the fallacy in his opponents. In the case of religious arguments this is equally true and yet naturally more complicated. Following from this rule, just about all of the arguments theists bring forward in a debate fall into one of three major categories:

1. Arguments toward the existence of God or the truth of their religious beliefs. These usually include mention of the physical world, trying to show the world was deliberately created. Though I find this to be the most noble way to argue for ones religion, the advocate has his work cut out for him. He must both show the world was created by a supreme being, and then show that it was his specific supreme being that did so. God may have created the world. But which God?

2. Claims about the usefulness of religion. In these cases it is usually argued that religion makes people more moral or that prayer is shown to be good for your health. None of these arguments, of course, bare any relevance to the truth of the religious claims. Faith may be the best thing in the world for the human condition and religion would still not be true.

3. Attacking Atheists. Usually taking the form of trying to debunk evolution, cosmology and geology. Often it is claimed that a lack of belief in a higher power is damaging. How are people supposed to do the right thing, it is asked, when they know they won’t be punished if they don’t? You may have noticed this is also an argument toward the usefulness of religion, though it usually takes a very different tone. Once again, one may disprove evolution and prove Atheists are intrinsically immoral, and yet have taken no step toward arguing for the existence of God.

There are few arguments a religious advocate can make to convince a non-believer, that do not rely on evidence or reason. And yet there are countless arguments that might as well be wrapped in evidence and drenched in logic which would just as easily be dismissed by a believer. The root of belief is not based in the natural world but in personal feeling. And as any man who has ever been in a relationship with a woman can attest, feelings are difficult to dismiss. However, I find that all cases can be made. Be it an argument based in feeling or reason, logic or evidence, a perfectly good answer can be given. One that would make anyone pause and think.

There is one argument that does not fit into any of the three categories I mentioned above. It is Pascals Wager. A pragmatic argument that will be the first to be mentioned as I begin to discuss specific claims in the next installment.

The Diary of an Unbeliever

I am an Atheist. Which is to say I do not believe in any God, or in fact the super natural. On it’s face, this is an odd declaration to make. It is a positive announcement for a negative. I am not actively believing in anything and so, logic would dictate, have no business making announcements.

Some people may assert that the act of not believing in God is as active as believing. In the case of the God of Abraham I suppose that may be true. Western society tends to saturate its children in the assumption of God. So much so that it takes a real step to stop believing. However, as much as I do not believe in the God of Abraham I also do not believe in Thor. I am as much of an Atheist to Leprechauns and Unicorns as I am to Jesus or Krishna. I believe just as little in the past dead Gods of ancient Greece or Rome as I’m sure I will in the future Gods people are bound to invent. Only in a world where God is assumed to exist would this become something to announce positively.

Strictly speaking I am agnostic - but only strictly speaking. A prerequisite of proper critical thinking is to assume you do not know everything. It is practically impossible to disprove a negative and so I make no absolute claims. On the other hand, any claim made must be backed by evidence. And claims that are extraordinary in nature must supply extraordinary evidence. As none such evidence exists for God, Unicorns or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the claim should properly be ignored until such evidence can be presented. Saying one is a Unicorn agnostic would be silly. When no evidence is supplied the odds toward the claim do not suddenly become fifty fifty. So strictly speaking I am Agnostic, but practically I am an Atheist.

This logic is not foreign to those who do believe either. A believer in the God of Abraham is as much of an Atheist as I when it comes to Thor or Zeus. There are no people who really believe in all the Gods of the world. If only because most insist they are the one true God. Richard Dawkins put it well when he said: “We are all atheists about most of the Gods that societies ever believed in. Some of us just go one God further.”

One thing I do tend to do, on the other hand, is get into arguments. Many arguments. I’ve spent quite a few hours chatting, arguing or debating people of faith and I have heard many arguments made in favor of it. I think it may be time to begin to write them all down.

Gods thin layer of infinite protection

The undoubted source of Gods all mightiness is, of course, the word 'all'. A simply 'mighty' being could be nice, but it would not be God. The word mighty does well to describe big animals or conquering kings, but in order to impress the meek one needs just a little extra. Infinite power, however, may be more Impressive but is also more complicated.

Infinity is a mathematical term. It is a rhetorical term to describe things that are unending. But despite its wide spread in conversation, Infinity does not exist in reality. There is simply no such thing as infinitely large or small. Nothing goes on forever. Think for a moment of the simple mathematical question: What is infinity minus infinity? How can one even begin to answer such a question. It is a paradox. And questions that pose paradoxes always point toward a flaw in the assumptions of the question - in this case: infinity.

But what does this do to the concept of God? Once stripped from infinity, the concept of God takes an immediate turn in our mind. Suddenly questions begin to surface. If God is not infinitely old, when did he start? Was he born? and if so, who begot him?

We find ourselves asking questions about where he came from, and the limits of his power. Without infinity God seems to be reduced to a powerful alien at best (and a figment of our imagination at worst).

What about the human soul? Even if there is an afterlife, what's the use if it is not infinite. This is great news for those going to Hell but the occupants of Heaven may feel short changed. Without infinity, the soul would not live forever. Which means we will all eventually die. Even if we accept the afterlife as a possibility - it would end eventually.

After removing this thin layer of protection from God, These questions immediately follow. Our imagination cannot grasp infinite power, but finite power we can get our head around. A God which is not infinitely moral may be just regularly moral. Maybe he isn't all around us. Maybe he can't hear all of our prayers. Maybe only some. Or maybe none.

Startup Weekend Tel Aviv Jeff Deville

Blamed on Israel 3

Just for fun, in this installment I replaced sharks and misogyny with super models and libido boosting sex gum. Let's see if the chuckles get any louder.

Israel blamed for the economic crisis.

Jews are everywhere. They control the media, the banks and the vending machines. And if Jews are in control of our snacks, the world will definitely go to hell. The definition of 'hell', in this case, would be standing in line at the bank with an old issue of Time magazine and no Snickers. Damn those Jews!

But seriously folks, if you can blame the financial crisis on Israel just because a few Jews own banks, shouldn't you also credit Israel with ending World War 2? Einstein was, after all, a penny chaser.

http://www.aztlan.net/jewish_lobby_economic_crisis.htm

Israel blamed for power outs in Egypt.

In this case they claim Egypt is selling more natural gas to Israel than it has for itself. Hence the blackouts and the blame. Isn't that a little like a drug dealer blaming his clients for not leaving him enough for self use? It would probably make more sense to blame the supplier for not making enough of the drug to begin with. In Egypt's case, the supplier is the ground. Good luck.

http://www.haaretz.com/news/diplomacy-defense/egypt-blames-israel-for-power-blackouts-1.308778

Israel blamed for Palestinian wife beating.

Yeah yeah, I know I had one similar to this in our first installment, but in this case there is a scientific study involved. Well, when I say scientific I actually mean some guy rambling on paper, and when I say study I mean it's written with finger paints.

The premise of this scientific fridge decoration is that exposure to political violence will lead to intimate partner violence, also known as wife beating. Wasn't Lorena Bobbit a Palestinian woman?

http://pajamasmedia.com/phyllischesler/2010/01/24/lancet-study-blames-palestinian-wife-beating-on-israel/

Israel blamed for Canada’s loss of security council seat at UN.

Oh no! We lost the seat at the UN security council! Now absolutely nothing might happen!

Yup folks, no one cares. Not Iran, not Darfur and definitely not the UN. It's true you might miss out on some uncompromising talk, but don't fear. There will be plenty of inaction and indecision in the next term. And who knows, maybe next time they'll let you speak into a microphone.

http://www.honestreporting.ca/blog/permalink/2525.aspx

Israel blamed for Pepsi, Revlon, Intel, McDonalds, Coca-Cola, Sara Lee, Marks & Spencer, Nestle, Marlboro, Disney and more.

This one is going to blow your mind. Did you know Pepsi stands for: Pay Each Penni Save Israel? or that if you flip the Coca Cola logo upside down, erase it and then write something else instead, it reads: smoked salmon rocks? It's true! and I know it's true because I read it on a website.

But really, Disney? You included the company which gave the elephants in Tarzan Jewish accents but not a company called Warner Brothers? How about the Weinstein company? Its like being asked to point out a Jew at a bar mitzva and picking the waiter.

http://www.wikiislam.net/wiki/Muslim_Conspiracy_Theories#Israeli_Sex_Gum

Israel blamed for weak Muslim nation.

The Muslim nation is so weak, Saudi Arabian teenagers need the help of camels to hump. To be honest, Israel did beat a few Muslim nations in a few wars. But that was over three decades ago. There are over fifty Muslim nations in the world, all of which vote together in the UN against Israel. And yet I still get the feeling that if we push hard enough with the security council we can give them an international wet Willey. Food for thought.

http://www.accessmylibrary.com/article-1G1-142375978/israel-blamed-weak-muslim.html

Israel blamed for dropping libido boosting sex gum on Gaza.

Where is this sex gum and why aren't we selling the stuff. Other than in Hollywood. It makes tons of sense when you think about it. How is someone supposed to fight back when he's busy fornicating. And when sex is practically illegal, the frustration alone would be enough for the entire region to democratize. Well, it would be either democracy or large amounts of rape. And Israel would be blamed for both.

http://www.wikiislam.net/wiki/Muslim_Conspiracy_Theories#Israeli_Sex_Gum

Every time someone blames Israel for something ridiculous, an angel cracks up laughing. This is nothing but fun to write. And there is much more to write about. Stay tuned.

Blamed on Israel 2

And here we are again with a second instalment of the ridiculous. Blaming everything on Israel may not be fair, but it is entertaining. And who doesn't like to be entertained?

Here is the second batch:

Israel blamed for harassing, non-existent modern-day Josef and Mary.

What isn't clear? If Josef and Mary were alive today, Israel would be harassing them in the West Bank. Though, when one comes to think of it, Josef and Mary were Jewish settlers in a land controlled by the Romans. And the settlers tend to be the ones harassing. Food for thought. http://www.mererhetoric.com/2005/12/26/jews-now-being-blamed-by-media-for-harassing-nonexistent-modern-day-joseph-and-mary/

Israel blamed, along with US, for world woes.

This one comes from a well known Iranian comedian by the name of Ahmadinejad. And though he may be slightly crazy and dishonest, he is still the leader of a near nuclear Islamic country and so should be treated with respect. All in all, Ahmadinejad's arguments are the same as they usually are. Israel and the United States are responsible for everything bad that has ever happened. Oh, and that there was no holocaust. At least that one's off our conscience.

http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/library/news/2009/04/mil-090420-voa09.htm

Israel blamed for all US foreign policy (at least the bad parts).

The Israeli Lobby in the United States is so powerful it moves the world's only super power at its whim. Sounds nice. Let's forget for a moment that everyone who regurgitates this theory forgets the immense influence of the Saudi lobby, an influence which almost always opposes Israeli interests. Even if the Israeli lobby were really that powerful, couldn't we at least credit them with all the good things as well? Yes, the U.S. is involved with a war or two, but they are also a driving force of democracy and humanitarian aid around the world. Though I guess for some people that would be considered a bad thing as well.

http://www.counterpunch.org/massad03252006.html

Israel blamed for ice cream shortage in Ramallah hotel.

OK, this one may have a scoop of truth to it. I accept the fact that it is entirely plausible, considering Palestinian dependence on Israeli goods, that an ice cream shortage in this five star hotel in Ramallah may have been Israel's fault. But why don't we look at the bright side? Ramallah has a five star hotel. That's not the sort of thing you would expect in a region full of war crimes, oppression and starving children. In my opinion you get to complain about only one of those. You can't be both starving and upset that your big mac has too many pickles on it. and if it's the pickles you're complaining about - Israel must be doing something right. Though I think they can afford to allow them vanilla. Everyone likes vanilla.

http://www.virtualjerusalem.com/news.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1389:ramallah-opens-5-star-hotel-blames-israel-for-ice-cream-shortage&catid=3:world&Itemid=1389

Israel blamed for September 11th.

We know what really happened. It had to have been Israel. The evidence is undeniable. If the Jews didn't do it, how do you explain the fact that no bagels with smoked salmon were lost during the attacks?

http://pakalert.wordpress.com/2009/12/01/israel-did-911-all-the-proof-in-the-world/

Israel blamed for shark attack in Egypt.

So here's the plan, said one Mossad agent to another, we get a shark and send him to eat Egyptian tourists on the beach. They'll never guess it was us!

So yes, a shark attacked a beach in Egypt and they blamed it on Israel. When you come to think about it that isn't so far fetched. Everyone knows Israel has a secret underwater imp squad working in it's military. All they really had to do to pull it off is to fit them with tiny saddles.

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2010/12/07/egyptian-official-believes-israel-deadly-shark-attack/

Israel blamed for demonization of Israel

If the Jews and Israel are in control of world media, and the world's media are against Israel, the Jews and Israel must be behind the whole thing!

It's true! And we would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling conspiracy theorists. If I was puppeteering everyone that hates me I would need a lot of strings.

http://spme.net/cgi-bin/articles.cgi?ID=7150

These get more and more fun to write every day. Stay tuned for the another instalment.

Blamed on Israel 1

So here is a new type of post I will be playing with over the next week. It's all about the many things that have been blamed on Israel over the past decade. Some are interesting, some paranoid and other damn funny. If we're brutally honest, a few a probably true.

So in the name of fun and more fun, over the next few days I'll be publishing a few of each type.

Here is the first batch:

Israel blamed for Africa’s wars.

Oh yes, you read correctly. Muammar Gaddafi, the well dressed Libyan dictator, has taken it upon himself to blame Israel for stoking the many conflicts in Africa. These words and the evidence that did not follow were uttered at the 40th anniversary of the coup that brought Gaddafi to power in the first place. I won't ask if he blames that on Israel as well.

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3770025,00.html

Israel blamed for Saudi Misogyny.

This story is a wonderful example of stupidity coming from two very separate nations. A Canadian woman, who went to Saudi Arabia to visit her father was subsequently not allowed to leave. As it seems, there are laws in Saudi Arabia placing a woman under the supervision of her father (even at the ripe old age of 24). When the father decided not to allow his daughter to leave the country, Saudi officials saw nothing wrong with his logic and took away her passport. Commenting on this issue, a Canadian Foreign Service veteran made it clear that this has a lot to do with Canada's relationship with the state of Israel.

http://network.nationalpost.com/NP/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2010/04/08/jonathan-kay-who-s-to-blame-for-a-canadian-woman-trapped-in-saudi-arabia-israel-of-course.aspx

Israel blamed for beating of Gaza woman by Gaza men

An actual draft of an actual UN resolution was worded as follows: “the grave situation of Palestinian women in the occupied Palestinian territory... resulting from the severe impact of the ongoing illegal Israeli occupation and all its manifestations.”

This is a resolution blaming Palestinian violence against women on the Israeli occupation. The basis? poor economic condition lead to family stress which leads to violence against women. In fact, they claim the Israeli occupation is a major obstacle for women in their advancement. Lets forget for moment that in other poor parts of the world this seems not to be such a significant factor; And that the rest of the Arab world (rich and poor alike) seem to suffer from the same affliction; Or even that Israel is considered a shining light among western countries in the realm of gender equality; By that logic, couldn't we just blame all violence against women on the United States and be done with it?

http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/news.aspx/136598

Israel blamed for Al-Jazeera’s world cup jamming.

A very smart man once said: "Honor in an empty bag equals an empty bag." (actually it was a character on Star Trek). When the transmition of the world cup in the Arab world fails, it's considered quite the embarrassment. Since Arab countries don't respond very well to embarrassment, it's only logical that it must all have been an Israeli plot. Probably the Mosad.

http://www.almasryalyoum.com/en/news/egypt-tv-head-israel-could-be-blamed-al-jazeeras-world-cup-jamming

Israel blamed for Iranian computer virus.

OK, this one is probably true. On the other hand, it didn't take much investigating for Israel to be blamed in this case. When Israel is the default scape goat, blame tends to move very fast. "who farted? It was Israel!!! oh no, it was me."

http://www.insideiran.org/media-analysis/iran-cites-western-experts-to-blame-israel-for-stuxnet-virus/

Israel blamed for Wikileaks in anti-Turkish plot.

I love conspiracy theories. If Turkey is embarrassed by the Wikileaks and Israel is not, it must only mean Israel engineered them. It's all about the outcome, a conspiracy theorist will tell you, you have to look at who gains from it all. Once again, let us forget for a moment the virtual impossibility of faking three million documents, or the fact that Israel was not saved embarrassment at all; by that logic, Hezbollah actually engineered the first and second Lebanon wars and Hamas was responsible for the deaths on the Gaza flotilla. It's just a plausible.

http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/n.php?n=akp-hints-israel-as-8220behind-the-wikileaks-conspiracy8221-2010-12-01

And last for today, as something should be left for the coming week.

Israel blamed for Tsunami in southeast Asia

Oh you know it's true. If a tsunami kills hundreds of thousands of people on the other side of the planet, how could it not be Israels fault. In this case it was a secret underwater nuclear test run by the United States, India and Israel that created the planet sized phenomenon. I wonder how one can both believe a country the size of Jersey can have so much global power and yet be week enough to bow to his demands in response to a bit of terrorism. But honestly, the surf in Israel is nowhere near good enough to warrant that level of accusation.

http://www.crosswalk.com/1305996/

That's it for today, but don't you fret. We have genocides, supermodels, sharks and non existent modern day Josef and Mary coming up. So stay tuned.

Doodles from a meeting in the European Commission.

Advice to the European Union

Ladies and gentlemen of the European Union,

BUY AIR CONDITIONING. If there were one piece of advice I could give you, air conditioning would be it. The advantages of air conditioning have been proven by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering European experience. I will dispense this advice now:

Enjoy the wealth and safety of your country. Well, never mind, you won't understand the wealth and safety of your country until it has faded. Only then will you realize, in a way you cant grasp now, how many opportunities laid before you and how easy it was to criticize the rest of the world.

Don't give unconditional aid to terrorists. Or rather; give the aid but know that giving aid unconditionally is about as affective as trying to convince a lion not to eat you by using bubble gum.
The real solutions to complex geopolitical issues are apt to be things that never crossed you worried mind. the kind that involve more than the two stories you heard on the news.

Lower the price of your vegetables. Eating vegetables is a good way of staying healthy. Lowering their price will ensure all levels of society can eat them as well, and can replace much of the international aid you give to Africa.

Drink less beer. Beer is a beverage designed for refreshment and not binging. If getting drunk is your aim, hard liqueur saves money and makes you more tolerable.
Don't drink regularly before five in the afternoon. It is bound to make you less productive at work and less hospitable on the tram ride home.

Maybe you're a capitalist, maybe you're not.
Maybe you're on welfare, maybe you're not.
maybe your economy is steady, and maybe your government cooked the books and crashed your pension fund.
Whatever you are, never congratulate yourself too much. Or berate yourself either. Your economy is reliant on the Americans, and so is everybody else's.

Watch television and movies in their original language. It is a good way to learn that language and makes the content sound a little less ridiculous.

Expect to pay something for your education. Free education tends to be of poor quality, low standards, and makes it possible to still use a blackboards and chalk in the 21st century.

Remember that hair styles come and go, but there are few that should be gone for good. 80's haircuts are an eyesore. People who ware them are not thought of as rebels but rather stupid teenagers who conform to an even more ridicules trend.

Forgive yourselves for colonialism. Because no one else will do it until you do. Colonialist guilt is a good way of taking your money and it will only end when you stop paying up.

Be suspicious of absolute moral certainty. Socialism isn't always right, Israel is not evil, and Americans are not always stupid.
Absolute certainty tends to make people meddle in things that have nothing to do with them and often leads to colonialist guilt.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a sort of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of remembering my time in Europe, ignoring all the good parts and offering it back for more than its worth.
But trust me on the AIR CONDITIONING!

The plight of an African ruler

Dear United Nations,

I am the ruler of an African state.

For the past decade I have been relentlessly trying to get the attention of the United Nations Human Rights Council (UNHRC), but they have yet to return my calls. Though my country’s population has been dropping rapidly as a result of an uncontrollable AIDS epidemic, I have been doing my best to add to this by ruthlessly murdering as many women and children as I can. These are of course of a different ethnic group than myself. Sadly, it seems all of the attention of your Human Rights Council has been aimed at Israel. After waiting for a decade for the council to move on to the next human rights catastrophe on the agenda I feel this may never happen.

What do I have to do in order to be put on the council’s agenda? At first I feared the council may skip my country to address any of the other extreme violations of human rights such as: Darfur, Sierra Leone, China in Tibet, Russia in Chechnya, or any of the many cases of starvation all around Africa. However, it seems there is no way for any of us to receive any attention.

What does Israel have that the rest of us do not? It seems to be a properly democratic country with a large voting minority. Why ignore the rest of us who do not allow our minorities this pleasure? Our women cannot vote or choose their husband and we still practice female circumcision, but we are yet to be on the council’s agenda. Do I really have to convert my people to Judaism in order to get this sort of attention? Even their blockades are pitiful. What is the use of a blockade if you keep sending in thousands of tons of food aid? How are the people supposed to starve that way? Why not take an example from the Russians who ruthlessly bombard Chechnya without calling in advance to warn civilians to leave the area as Israel does? In Africa we have learned to dispense with the need for a blockade and allow our people to starve directly. And yet none of us are targeted for violations of human rights.

I believe the problem may be in the composition of the council. How can we expect Egypt, Angola, Bahrain, Jordan, Kyrgyzstan, Pakistan, Qatar and Saudi Arabia to concentrate on anything else but Israel ? I think a good solution for this would be to have at least a majority of democratic countries to allow a more balanced view of world atrocities. Though I am aware the Arab world itself spends a lot of time violating human rights within their own countries, I wish to request the council take the time to look at the African continent as its next source of inspiration. We are, after all, a humanitarian catastrophe.

Please break the Israeli monopoly over the attention of the human rights council. No serious council could really believe Israel is a serious human rights violator, if it looked at the facts. It seems there is an unfair bias toward that country and we request it be removed.

Yours,

A ruler of an African country.

The Platypus Project

My genius brother has started a company building hybrid trucks. of course he had to go and do it in an incredibly original way. he created a Wiki for it. I'ts an internet based Wiki company to design and build hybrid truck plus a 'How to' wiki for alternative energy.

Pretty nifty huh?

here it is in all it's spender and glory.

http://www.theplatypusproject.com/tiki-index.php

If you know anything about designing, marketing, modeling or are just interest in the idea of creating a hybrid truck, give it a visit.

Plus, if you know anything about alternative energy. If you wrote an article, built your own wind turbine or fixed some solar panels to your roof, you should visit the wiki and tell us how you did it.

Write a 'How to' so others can benefit from what you learned.

Fool

Why is it we feel such a need to fall in love? Is it an evolutionary trait pushing us toward joining the workforce of an ever lasting baby factory? or have we moved on from the constraints that govern all other things? As far as the feeling goes it is one of the best there are, but is more often than not, later reciprocated with one of the worst. The only feeling more acute than the goodness of falling in love is the terribleness of being kicked out of it.

I've never fallen in love, but I've slipped into it many times. Falling in love alludes to a sudden realization followed by a warm, scary, cuddly feeling of goodness. My experiences have been less perfect. I've stumbled into relationships which tripped me into love. Tripping into love alludes to a feeling of embarrassment followed by terror. 'What have I fallen into?' you ask yourself, all the while wondering who tripped you and why. Every time I found myself covered from head to toe with love, dripping of my clothes, I wondered if maybe this time things will be different. But they never are.

Unlike the serendipity associated with falling in love, when one is tripped there is usually an ulterior motive. While a sensible man would ask himself who is this person who tricked me, I slosh around in the feel good pudding that is positive attention.

The next chapter in the pamphlet of the relationship belongs to our trickster. She suddenly wonders where the clean, confident man she plotted against has gone and why he has been replaced with the ooze covered fool playing in the puddle in front of her.

And so another relationship comes to a close. instead of learning from my mistakes in order to do better for the next round of adequate women trying for my attention, I hose myself off and continue walking. An argument can be made that I should watch where I'm going and stop relentlessly reliving this saga, on the other hand, that is the only love I've ever known.

And so, again, I have no advice to give. I am as lost as everyone else and a fool to boot. But love, it seems, has left a mark of sorts. I leave you with a poem. That is the best I can do.

A fool once said to another:

Be suspicious of love

For it will likely be confused with excitement

A fool once said to another:

Be fearful of love

For it will hurt as much as it may cause pleasure

A fool once said to another:

Be forgetful of love

For it will end as easily as it begins

Once I'm through with all this pain I hope to be such learned a fool.